As a dating site that’s designed for well-educated professionals and successful business owners, it should come as no surprise to anyone that many EliteSingles members are involved in long-distance relationships. Maybe their careers force them to travel a lot, or maybe, like so many other things in their lives, they’re willing to go the extra distance for love.
Whatever your reasoning for being in a long-distance relationship, you probably already know that there will be challenges. And if you want to make it work, you need to keep the spark alive. The following strategies will help you not only hold your partner’s interest but make sure that you get the most out of your LDR. Read on to hold onto the magic.
Challenges of Long-Distance Dating
First, the tough part. You know it’s not going to be easy. Long-distance relationships have the same issues as any relationship, but with the additional difficulty of limited time. Here are some of the challenges that our dating experts and couples who are in long-distance relationships have identified:
- Trust – Not being around for long periods requires immense trust.
- Communication – This can be especially difficult in different time zones. However, modern technology makes it much easier these days.
- Visiting – Travel is an essential element in any long-distance relationship. Depending on your time and resources, it can be very difficult.
- Job Changes – Many people meet on career assignments that require travel. When these assignments change, it can create an even greater distance between the two parties.
- Conflict Resolution – Disagreements can be more difficult to resolve over text, phone, or video chat.
Part of the key to overcoming these common LDR issues is to have a plan for resolving them. Make travel plans, schedule phone and video calls, and reward trust by giving trust. You have to find the solutions that work for you. But be disciplined about your approach to your long-distance relationship.
Strategies to Keep the Spark Alive
You’re in a long-distance relationship, and one of the benefits is that it works with your busy lifestyle. You work long days, but you have a precious few hours of downtime in the evenings and on the weekends. What percentage of that free time does your partner get? What constitutes a valid reason for canceling or rescheduling?
“Just getting caught up on some reports” might work as an excuse when you’re dating partner knows that they’ll see you the next day, but when communication time is at a premium, you might find that your partner does not accept last-minute cancellations as easily.
Balance is essential in LDRs, but so is flexibility. You’ll find that the common theme in these strategies is that they consider both of these crucial qualities.
Regular Communication
You should communicate in some way on a daily basis. Long periods of silence foment concern about your safety and your feelings. Develop a contingency plan for missed calls or virtual dates. You can either have a standing rule or set up a backup on the fly. “My boss invited me for drinks. Can I call you around eight instead of six?” This message is a good example of how you reschedule a long-distance date. It states the reason why you need to reschedule — meeting with the boss is important. It establishes a backup time, and most importantly, the tone takes into consideration your partner’s feelings. Who wouldn’t agree to that if their schedule allows?
Virtual Date Nights
This might sound a little corny at first, but if you’re in an LDR, you may already do this and not even think about it. Cooking a meal over video chat, talking on the phone while you’re walking the dog, or planning a call while you’re both having coffee are all examples of virtual dates. Here are some ideas submitted by former Elite Singles members who are or have been in LDRs:
Romantic Virtual Dinner
If you can both cook, buy the ingredients, and make the meal prep part of the date. If one of you isn’t so great in the kitchen, you can order food in. Light some candles, dim the lights (but not so dim it’s hard to see), and set up the device of your choice.
Watch a Movie
The easiest way to achieve this is by picking a movie from a popular streaming service and starting the movie at the same time. You’ll probably want to use an earbud to occasionally comment and to cancel out the echo effect.
Sightseeing
Get some exercise and spend time together at the same time. Pick a few notable sites within walking distance of one another and take your partner on a virtual sightseeing tour. They can either relax at home or they can also get out on the town, and you can take turns.
Cafe or Bar Dates
If you know of a quiet place where you can have a virtual chat over a coffee or a glass of wine, it’s an ideal way to get out of the house and relax. This way, you’re not tempted to also do the dishes or fold laundry while you’re talking to your significant other.
There really is no limit to the ideas you can come up with for virtual dates. Modern tech allows you to bring your partner just about anywhere.
Send Surprises
Who doesn’t love a surprise? Sending your partner a nice surprise is a brilliant way to not only let them know you’re thinking about them, but also that you were thinking about them when you ordered it. And don’t wait for special occasions. Here is a list of general ideas you can use to surprise your mate:
- Flower arrangements (never go out of style)
- A bottle of wine or liquor. Make sure they’ll be home to accept the delivery. The local law may require it.
- Dinner. All of the delivery apps let you change the address and search parameters.
- A box of steaks.
- Something from their Amazon wish list.
- Concert tickets (especially if you can make the trip to see the show together)
Of course, the best surprises are the ones that involve travel plans to spend time together.
Romantic Gestures
How do you express romance when you live hours and miles away from one another? Here are a few tricks you can try:
- Send a song that makes you think of them.
- Text a little note telling a funny story. “You’ll never believe what happened to me at the grocery store.”
- Video call them when you’re out with friends and family. There is something very touching about someone taking time to call when they’re really enjoying themselves. The implied message: “It would be even better if you were here.”
Enhancing Connection
What’s your plan for the LDR? Are you going to commute to each other indefinitely, or is there a plan to bridge the distance? If the separation is short-term because of business or school, you may not have to work quite as hard to keep the romance alive, but you also can’t just assume that things will all work out when you’re back in town. You have to keep enhancing your connection, just like you would if you lived close or cohabitated.
Share Your Daily Life
You need to know what’s going on in each other’s days. This has to be a two-way dialogue that balances your work and personal interactions. No, you don’t have to tell your partner, “The Anderson account is in jeopardy due to a bottleneck in production,” but they may want to hear about interesting interactions with coworkers, friends, family, and people you run into about town. You should also practice active listening. Your partner will also want to tell you about their lives, fears, passions, and anything else that comes to mind.
Plan Visits
Some people in long-distance relationships are lucky enough to have work that takes them to one another’s cities. If you aren’t in this situation, you need to make sure to plan trips. This could mean taking turns, one person doing all of the travel, or both parties meeting at a halfway point. Figure out what makes sense for your relationship, but keep your schedule.
Set Goals Together
Long-distance relationships are challenging, but if you have a goal, it can make the trials of travel and scheduling time much more bearable. Some relationship goals can be to meet each other’s families, to move to the same location, to increase the frequency of visits, etc. Make your goals achievable and have regular check-ins where you are with them.
It doesn’t matter where you find love as long as you find it. A good long-distance relationship is way more satisfying than a bad relationship with someone in your town. If you are still single, however, consider trying the number one dating app for well-educated and successful individuals. Try EliteSingles today!
