At EliteSingles, we believe everyone is entitled to the happiness that comes with a relationship. But that doesn’t mean everyone is ready to be in a relationship right now. As is the case with most things in life, timing is everything, and for a relationship to work, both parties must be ready.
If you’re not sure whether or not you’re ready for a relationship, you should do a little soul-searching before you proceed. Breakups are hard on both people, and you want to give yourself the best chance of success.
Am I Ready for a Relationship? 10 Signs You may be
The following ten signs were assembled by our dating and relationship experts as well as some people who have found success on the EliteSingles platform. The intent of this list is to start getting you to think about what you really want from your romantic relationships.
1. You Feel Ready for a Relationship
This can truly be a tricky first step. Why? Because human beings delude themselves. Start by asking yourself why you’re not already in a relationship. Did you prioritize work or school too much and it never seemed like the right time? Did you recently have your heart broken and you’re trying to find a way to move on?
Whatever your reason for not currently being involved with someone, has it resolved itself? If not, you may not be ready. On the other hand, you might feel lonely. You may feel ready to share your successful life with another person. If you’re not sure, poll a few friends. Ask them if they think you’re ready to be with someone. You don’t have to listen to their advice, but they may give you some things to consider.
2. You’re Comfortable Being Alone
Think about the last time you had a painful breakup. You probably grieved your lost love. Maybe you tried to patch things up and were rebuffed. After a while, you accepted the breakup, but you felt antsy when you were alone with your thoughts. If you’re still feeling like this, you may have to give it some time before you’re ready to date seriously again. However, maybe you notice that you’re enjoying your alone time — you’re just not enjoying it as much as you would with another person. If this is where your head is, you might be ready. Until you find someone you want to get involved with romantically, don’t discount the value of friends. Having a platonic friend over for a movie or a game might be a good bridge to dating.
3. You’re Emotionally Stable
Trauma never heals completely — it scars. In order to truly heal your own wounds, you have to do the work. That could mean giving it time, but you may also need to try therapy. It’s important to remember that not all emotional instability is due to a specific event. Substance abuse and chemical imbalances may also be responsible for mood swings, anxiety, paranoia, etc. That doesn’t mean that you can never be in a relationship, but you’ll need to work on yourself if you want to achieve success.
4. You’re Independent
Are you in a place where you can support yourself? Many EliteSingles members are “well off,” so it may not be a pervasive issue for our readers, but self-sufficiency is attractive. Additionally, when one party is dependent on another, it shifts the power dynamic, which is unhealthy for relationships.
Additionally, you should be able to spend time on your own. For both men and women, clinginess is a huge turnoff. Many people have a difficult time fending for themselves when their partner isn’t around. If you feel like you need a dating partner to fill a void in your life, you may not be ready. On the other hand, if you’re thinking that you could carve out some time for the right person, you’re on the right track.
5. You Have Past Relationship Closure
It might seem normal to carry a little bit of a flame for an ex, but if you have some feelings for an old love, it may spell disaster for a new one. You may also be “over” dating your ex, but you are still carrying some feelings about the way it ended. You might have some residual anger over the way things ended or some past offense that they committed. You may not have been ready to close the door on that period of your life. If you need closure, you may be able to get it by talking to your ex. Otherwise, you may have to accept what so many of us have learned the hard way. Not everyone can get closure when a relationship ends.
6. You Are a Good Communicator
Be honest with yourself about your communication skills. Being a good communicator doesn’t only mean that you talk a lot. Other keys to communication are active listening, boundaries, and emotional intelligence. You also have to foster a communication style that works for you and your partner. If you feel like you are an effective communicator and a great listener, it’s a positive sign for the success of your relationships. If you have any doubts, ask a friend or family member what they think. Just be ready for the differing opinions.
7. You Are Able to Compromise in a Relationship
Have you ever heard the expression that the sign of a good compromise is that no one is happy? When it comes to relationships, we tend to want to aim higher. However, you can’t expect to always be happy. EliteSingles tries to match members based on mutual compatibility, but even the most compatible couples don’t agree on everything. Learn about healthy compromise. Identify the types of issues that you can agree on and the ones that are absolute dealbreakers.
For example, going to a concert for a band that you don’t love is a healthy compromise. Having to forgo your dream of having children is an unhealthy compromise.
8. You Can Establish Boundaries
It’s not only essential that you have set boundaries that are good for you and your life, but you have to be able to defend them. For example, if you’re like many EliteSingles members, you may have a flourishing career. In order to be successful, you need time for rest, nutrition, etc. To achieve this, you may set a boundary that your dates can’t last past 10:00 p.m. on work nights. If you’re able to incorporate a new person into your life while still being able to get to bed on time, it’s a good sign that you’re ready and are capable of setting relationship boundaries.
9. You’re Excited About the Idea of a Future With Someone Else
Relationships tend to have their ups and downs, but it’s normal to be excited about the possibility of a future with another person. If you find yourself daydreaming about date nights, little vacations, casual evenings at home, getting a pet together, etc., it means that your mind is primed to be with another person.
10. You Have Room in Your Life for Another Person
Among other things, having a significant other involves a commitment of time and resources. If you’re at a point in your life where you have very little time for things like personal pleasure, self-care, exercise, and whatever else you consider important outside of work, you may not have time to involve a new person in your life. In this case, you would be inviting someone in at a time when you simply do not have the bandwidth to give them what they’ll need. Make sure you have the time and energy to make it work.
What to Do If You Aren’t Ready
If you’ve read this list and thought, “I’m nowhere near ready to get involved with someone,” don’t worry. You can slowly begin moving in the right direction. Here are some things you can do to ready your life for a relationship.
- Start slowly. Many friendships and casual dates eventually lead to relationships.
- Remove unnecessary deterrents from your life. Is there something in your life that can go to make room for a new person? Maybe your Monday night bowling league hasn’t been fun for a while, or you’ve committed yourself to a personal project that is no longer important to you. Open up some time by decluttering your calendar.
- Seek balance. Do you spend 60 hours a week at work because you “might as well since you don’t have plans?” Working this much on a consistent basis is unhealthy whether you’re dating or not. Try to come up with a more sustainable schedule if possible.
If you are ready to take the next step forward, consider EliteSingles, the premier dating platform for successful and well-educated singles. You can download the app from Google Play or the App Store. Sign up today.
