There’s no way to read a woman’s mind, and in many cases, she won’t tell you what she’s thinking. So, how do you know when a woman likes you without her saying so? You look at her body language.
EliteSingles is the world’s number-one dating site for successful and well-educated singles all over the world. One of the top questions our members ask our dating experts is, “How do I know if she really likes me?” So, we decided to put together this article for men and others seeking women to recognize the signs that a woman likes them.
1. Eye Contact
Have you ever tried communicating with someone who refuses to make eye contact with you? It’s disarming, and it may feel like they’re just not interested in what you’re saying. In many cases, they aren’t. When it comes to romance, eye contact can be a big clue on whether or not she’s interested in you — or at least interested in what you’re saying.
But is it enough to check this box if she’s looking at you? Not necessarily. Do not rely solely on the eye contact she’s making. Assess her expression. Does she seem genuinely interested, or do her eyes convey annoyance? Is she only looking at you when she’s speaking? Is she constantly checking her phone messages? Eye contact with a stranger is also a sign of interest. Many women have learned to avoid eye contact to discourage unwanted attention. When they do make eye contact, it’s often (but not always) a sign that she wouldn’t mind engaging. Your best bet is to respond with a nod or a simple hello. After all, it’s eye contact, not an invitation to dinner. Build the romance slowly.
2. Smiling
If you’re on a date and she’s smiling, you know you’re doing something right. Many biologists and behaviorists agree that smiling is an innate behavior in humans. But whether it’s coded into our DNA or something that we learn from living among other people, we know that it’s usually a sign that someone is happy, having a good time, or trying to be flirty. If any of these apply to the woman you’re talking to, you’re in good shape.
When you see a woman out in public, and she smiles at you, it’s a great sign for the same reason that eye contact is. There are a few questions you may want to ask yourself before assuming that her smile is meaningful:
- Are you sure she’s smiling at you?
- Does she have a job where smiling is encouraged by management? (i.e., hospitality, sales, etc.)
- Did you do anything that elicited the smile, like tell a joke?
Do not approach a woman and tell her to smile. There have been multiple articles written that it’s a sexist tell. Even if you don’t happen to agree with this point of view, many women do, so your approach could lead to anything from an easy letdown to a confrontation. Better to start with a simple “hello” or, if you’re feeling bold, “You have an amazing smile.”
3. Touching
Touching may be the strongest indicator of attraction we’ve discussed so far. Here’s why. Standing close to someone, whether you’re a man or woman, signals intimacy and the willingness to be vulnerable. At a close distance, someone can hug you, kiss you, or even push you. This means that if a woman lets you into her personal space, she may be interested in more. When it comes to a woman touching you, it’s an extremely bold move on her part. She is usually sending a clear signal that there’s some level of interest. If she touches your hand or shoulder with your arm, it’s almost always intentional. However, you should not interpret necessary touching as an indication of something more. Tapping your shoulder to ask you a question or get you to move from the path you’re blocking is not really a flirty gesture.
If you don’t know the woman, leave the touching to her. If you’re not a woman, your casual touch may set off red flags. If she initiates a touch, just be comforted to know that things are going well for you.
4. Mirroring
This physical sign of interest is exactly like it sounds. When a woman adopts your posture, gesture, or mannerisms, it’s a sign that she’s into you. This does not literally mean that she is matching you move for move. That would be weird and unsettling. However, if when you lean in, she leans in, or when you lean back in a relaxed slouch, she does the same, it’s a strong indicator that she’s trying to establish intimacy.
You don’t typically see this form of imitation with complete strangers. There are exceptions, though. For instance, if you’re sitting next to someone on a plane and you lean in to speak, she may follow suit. More than likely, you’ll see mirroring with friends, acquaintances, and on dates. It’s important that you don’t call attention to mirroring behaviors. Chances are that she’s unaware of it. If you say something, she may feel embarrassed, which is counterproductive.
5. Body Orientation
This may seem like ground we’ve already covered, but body orientation is worthy of its own discrete category. Pay attention to the way she positions her body when speaking to you. If she turns to face you, it’s a good sign. However, if she turns away to give you her shoulder, she could be trying to warn you that you’re intruding on her space. That doesn’t necessarily mean you’re out of the game, but you may have rushed your approach.
If she’s sitting next to you, look at her legs. Are they crossed toward you or away? Is she leaning into you when you speak? Body orientation is one of the most difficult signs to master, but with a little practice, you can clock her movements and positioning without much thought.
6. Preening
Women who are interested in you will sometimes preen, which may seem like fidgeting, but it’s a good sign. One of the most notable signs of this behavior is twisting her hair in circles. However, there are plenty of behaviors that could be considered preening. Checking herself in the mirror or a window, straightening her clothes, or even reapplying makeup could mean that she’s interested. Consider the fact that many of these behaviors are geared toward improving her appearance or making her feel outwardly more confident. It could also mean that you make her nervous but not nervous enough to break contact. All good indicators.
7 . Other Flirting Gestures
Many women have nervous ticks that become more prominent when they are around someone to whom they’re attracted. For instance, playing with a piece of jewelry could be a sign that she’s into you. Excitement or expressive use of her hands may be a way for her to signal to you that she believes the conversation is going well. Nervous laughter can be another type of flirtation.
Putting This Advice Into Practice
So, you’ve memorized the seven signs that a woman is into you, but you aren’t sure how to turn this to your advantage. Here are some tips for ensuring that you are reading the signs correctly and you’re not overplaying your hand.
- Understand What “Interested” Means – Just because a woman may indicate that she’s romantically interested, there is no guarantee of success. If you see some of these signs, consider it a launching point. Having decent banter is probably your next step.
- Look for Behavioral Changes – If you see that she’s dropping some of this behavior, she may be cooling off. It might be a good time to back off and re-evaluate your approach.
- Sometimes, a Tug of the Hair is Just That – Don’t get too excited if you see one or more of these signs. She may just be leaning in because it’s loud, and she can’t hear you.
- Look for Consistent Patterns – Beware of the one-offs. You want to see some level of consistency before you make any assumptions. For example, you tell a joke, and she responds by laughing, smiling, and then touching her hair. If you see this behavior a few times, there’s a good chance she finds you interesting.
- Don’t Call Her Out – The quickest way to shut down flirtation is by making the other person feel self-conscious about it. Not flirtatious behavior silently.
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