Whether it's on TV or IRL, we've all know a power couple. We've probably also spent more time than we'd like to admit wondering how to have a relationship like…
When we see a happy couple on Instagram, people often call them “couple goals.” But what kinds of lesbian couple goals are there?
Although all partnerships try to adhere to some goals for their relationship, most pairings we see in mainstream media are heterosexual.
LGBTQA+ couples deal with different bumps in the road to same-sex couples. Therefore they probably have different aims in mind.
Here are some great, and realistic, aims that promote a healthy and happy lesbian partnership.
3 Lesbian Couple Goals to Keep a Healthy, Happy Relationship Going
Don’t be afraid to ask for help
Here’s the truth that people usually don’t want to admit: We all need help sometimes.
People often feel like asking for help implies that something is wrong in a relationship. However, admitting that a relationship has struggled from time to time isn’t just realistic, it’s important!
Regardless of sexual orientation, couple therapists say the average couple is unhappy for a whole six years before they start seeing a therapist for help. Six years is a long time to wait. It gives those little issues quite a while to get under your skin. It also gives them the power to fester and cause much bigger problems.
A healthy relationship is one that recognizes that problems will arise and feels comfortable working through them together.
There’s never a bad time to seek a therapist’s help or to open up to a trusted friend, especially when you both believe that the relationship is worth saving. If you and your girlfriend are interested in therapy, make sure to visit a therapist who has experience helping LGBTQA+ couples.
That way, they’ll be equipped to help you achieve your lesbian couple goals.
You are not a “we”, but you’re also not always thinking in terms of “me”
Being in a relationship or dating and being independent while also maintaining a healthy relationship can be challenging. Too often when we think of relationship goals, we think about going from being a “me” to a “we”. For example, if someone asks if you’re busy over the weekend, you say “We have plans.”
Over time, everyone around you may begin to think that you and your partner are a package deal. This isn’t always the best game-plan. While being a “we” may sound sweet, particularly during the honeymoon phase, having two separate lives is important.
Prioritizing your own friends, career, and passions just means you’re nurturing your sense of self. No matter your relationship status, your relationship with yourself is the most important one. Spending time alone doesn’t mean you’re neglecting your partner, it just means that you’re choosing to love yourself too. So don’t feel guilty for doing so.
That being said, the other side of the coin is that you can’t be thinking only in terms of yourself when you have a serious, long-term partner. Generally, our behavior does affect our partner. Refusing to acknowledge that may come across as selfish and hurt their feelings.
Expecting your partner to respect you and your me together doesn’t mean your standards are too high.
Finding the balance between being a “me” and a “we” can be a real balancing act! But figuring out a dynamic that works for you is seriously worthwhile.
You feel comfortable being honest with your partner
A telltale sign that a relationship isn’t working is if you can’t talk to your partner without arguing. Communication is the key to achieving a fulfilling relationship.
If addressing a problem or opening up to your partner causes you anxiety, it’s time to think about where those negative feelings are stemming from.
Could this anxiety be related to a personal issue? Or could it be a red flag that you should break up?
Talking to your partner, even about the hard things, shouldn’t cause you added pain. Every couple has awkward conversations or arguments from time to time, but generally, speaking with them should help to ease your worries. It shouldn’t be making them worse.
If talking to your partner about serious matters feels useless, it could be a sign you two should stop your connection.
If you and your partner would like to improve communication in your relationship, then pencil in some time to do so. Spend a couple of hours each week hearing each other out and practicing comprising.
A strong couple isn’t one that never disagrees, it’s one that can respectfully work towards a solution together. While some couple goals may be idealistic, the most important ones are the efforts that contribute to your bond.
Working towards these aims isn’t just lesbian couple goals, it’s a benchmark for every couple, irrespective of their sexual orientation or identity. Finding your balance takes time, but if you’re in it for the long-haul, you have all the time in the world to find them together.
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