Dating an independent woman definitely has its perks, but there are some pointers you need to know before you can make the relationship a success.
Whether you’ve just met a girl online or getting to know someone IRL, figuring out how to talk to women can be tricky.
You want to make sure that you’re being respectful of her boundaries while also letting her know how interested and attracted you to her. It’s a real balancing act!
Communication is key for any solid connection. Listening is also important when it comes to talking to women as it’s you assure someone that they’re being seen and respected.
Essentially when talking to women you want to convey that you’re fully present and engaged in the conversation with her while also being your charming and fun self!
Sounds complicated? It doesn’t have to be! Take a look at our advice about speaking to women and you’ll be able to talk to your new match without a hitch.
Our Advice on How to Talk to Women
Eye contact and body language matters
Eye contact and body language are crucial when it comes to talking to girls. In many cases, they can tell you more about how a person feels than their words.
Even if you’re talking about something mundane, like the weather, paying attention to your movements, and hers, matters.
If your eyes are genuinely focused on her and your body language is open and engaged, it can make a huge difference in how she’s feeling around and about you.
It shows you’re interested in her and that you’re actively listening to what she has to say.
Are you currently social distancing? Don’t worry, you can still watch out for your crush’s body ques over video with zoom dating.
Don’t flirt too much
Smiling and some flirting are allowed but avoid flirting with your crush at the start. Why? Because you don’t know if she likes it.
When it comes to flirting, we always say to read the room. Calling her pet names or using sexual references when you don’t know if she’s into it isn’t ok.
What you view as flattery may come across as creepy or intimidating, and when you’re figuring out how to talk to women, these are mistakes to avoid.
Let the chemistry between you evolve naturally and ask her what kind of flirting she enjoys. That way you’ll know what moves to make, and more importantly, what ones to leave out.
Be genuine
Sure, telling someone to “be yourself” may sound cringy, but it’s important.
The truth is, if you want to know how to talk to women successfully, then you need to be confident in yourself.
Pretending to be someone else will only get you so far and chances are, it’ll your advances come across as insincere.
You don’t need to put on any fronts or say anything you don’t mean, just be you! That way she’ll see what makes you special.
Talk about your passions, hobbies, or friends, things that you’re genuinely interested in! Studies show that women find enthusiasm and dedication attractive.
Don’t talk too much
Whether you’ve met offline or online, it’s key to keep your space and maintain some boundaries when communicating.
After all, healthy boundaries are vital in a successful relationship, so why not practice them with her when you’re dating too?
Sure, talking to your crush is exciting, but you don’t want to overwhelm her either. Try to play it (somewhat) cool.
Staying cool when you’re already on edge about how to talk to women may sound easier said than done, but it doesn’t have to be.
If you’re chatting in person, notice when the convo has dissipated and taken your cue to leave. The same goes for online chatting, bombarding your crush with texts isn’t the best way to achieve online dating success.
Keep the natural flow of conversation going and know that it’s okay to have some breaks in communication too.
And if you lose your cool and slip up? Don’t worry. Chances are showing her this vulnerability will show her you’re human and make her like you even more.
Make it obvious you’re interested in her
However, you don’t want to play it too cool either. When you’re speaking to your crush you must make it clear that you’re into her, that way you avoid getting friend-zoned.
Show her that you care about her and how she’s doing. One of the easiest ways to do this is to ask her questions.
Questions show someone that you’re interested in them. That’s why when you’re figuring out how to talk to a woman, having some interesting ones in your back pocket is important,
Don’t call out her habits
Does your new date have a habit of apologizing over everything? Does she say “like” a lot? Or always bite her lip?
Pointing out these habits won’t soothe her or make her feel more comfortable, it’ll likely just make her feel self-conscious.
You might even think you’re being a “good guy” for pointing these out. But in reality, she’ll probably think you’re being rude.
Everyone has a nervous tic or two and there’s nothing wrong with that! To avoid making her feel guilty. Our advice? Let the small things go.
When it comes to how to talk to women, it needn’t be complicated or scary. It comes down to a matter of being authentic and showing her that you care about her.
Be kind, real, and respectful and chances are the conversation will start flowing in no time.
And if in time you’re interested in moving the conversation forward, tell her! Asking her out for an in-person or virtual date will show her how you feel for real.
Remember, actions sometimes speak louder than words!
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About the author: Brianne Hogan
Brianne is a Canadian freelance writer who's been writing about dating and relationships longer than any of her relationships. She applies a "do what I say, not do what I do" approach to her articles, and believes you can find Your Person mostly when you aren't looking. So enjoy your life, and eat lots of cheese (at least that's her motto). Her byline's been featured on Thrillist, The Huffington Post, HelloGiggles, Elle Canada, Flare, Awesomeness TV, among others.