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Figuring out how to get over a breakup is never easy. So we’ve compiled our best advice so that you can process yours healthily.
Just as every relationship is different, every breakup is different too. While some people leave a relationship feeling insecure, others experience guilt or regret.
Even in the most amicable of breakups, people feel a sense of loss, and that can stick around for a while.
However, the good news is that once you’ve processed this loss, a brighter and better future awaits you. Here’s our advice on how you can heal.
Our Advice on How to Get Over a Breakup
Allow yourself to grieve
Processing pain can hurt. That’s why so many of us avoid doing it properly.
After a breakup, many people try to numb their feelings with distractions. However, sweeping your emotions under a rug is rarely a good idea. Doing so usually deters you from growing and moving forward.
When navigating how to get over a breakup, allow yourself to grieve your relationship. If you don’t, the grief may find you months or even years down the line. Delayed pain can be even trickier to digest.
Allow yourself to feel what you need to feel. Any and every emotion you’re experiencing is acceptable. Only by letting your emotions flow freely like this can you start to find some peace.
Don’t date right away
Despite what you may have heard, the best way to get over someone usually isn’t to get under someone else.
Seriously dating someone new right after a breakup may mean you’re in denial about your split. Jumping into a rebound relationship will delay your healing and probably jeopardize another person’s feelings too.
Our advice? Avoid focusing your attention on another person and instead, focus it on yourself. Don’t use someone else as your emotional crutch. Heal your emotions by dealing with them head-on and on your own. You’ve got this!
Learn to love being single again
Being single has some serious perks. It’s an opportunity for you to discover who you are, what you like, and what you deserve.
The time you spend discovering how to get over a breakup is the perfect opportunity to get to know yourself again. What do you like to do? What dreams have you been putting off? Who are you without a partner?
Feed your soul in whatever way feels right. Try a new hobby. Journal. Take a trip. Do what you can to fall back in love with yourself again.
Discover who you’ve become as a result of your relationship and think about who you want to be in the future.
Cut off contact with your ex
Even if you and your ex ended things amicably, cutting off contact with them for a while is probably best.
Sure, seeking affirmation from them when you’re upset may feel right in the moment, but that doesn’t make it the right thing to do. Being friends with an ex post-breakup is like slapping a band-aid on a wound that needs more time to heal. It isn’t effective.
You’re single now. You deserve space to discover what that means and can mean, for you. Remember, you broke up for a reason.
Maybe you two will become friends in the future, but right now you need to begin a life that’s truly yours without any input from them. Don’t feel guilty about focusing on yourself.
Now is the time to get back to centering and grounding yourself, and most especially, moving on.
Rely on your support system
While seeking support from your ex after your breakup isn’t constructive, seeking support from other people in your circle certainly is.
Nobody should go through a breakup alone. Make sure you’ve got a support system that can be there for you when you need them.
Whether it’s chilling with your pals on a Saturday night or phoning someone to vent at 3 am, spending time with trusted friends is key. Asking for support isn’t just helpful, it’s necessary.
Let your friends and family know how they can help you, and most importantly, allow them to help you. You, and your heart, will be happy you did.
Figuring out how to get over a breakup may not be easy, but it is possible. You have everything you need to heal and grow from your past relationship.
Be firm with your boundaries when it comes to your ex, be patient with yourself and lean on your support system. A better, more fulfilling future is ahead of you!
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About the author: Brianne Hogan
Brianne is a Canadian freelance writer who's been writing about dating and relationships longer than any of her relationships. She applies a "do what I say, not do what I do" approach to her articles, and believes you can find Your Person mostly when you aren't looking. So enjoy your life, and eat lots of cheese (at least that's her motto). Her byline's been featured on Thrillist, The Huffington Post, HelloGiggles, Elle Canada, Flare, Awesomeness TV, among others.