Dating in Your 40s as a Man: 5 Ways to Succeed

Dating in your 40s as a man can be a rewarding experience! Many men reach their 40s and realize that they’re settled in many other aspects of their life, but missing a romantic relationship. It’s then that they decide they want a partner. 

However, Over 40 dating is not a level playing field. While some individuals are divorced or just out of a long-term relationship, others have never been in a serious partnership before, but wherever you find yourself is an exciting place to start.

Before you begin your search, there are some things you note first so that you can make this chapter as enjoyable (and successful) as possible.

So, here are our top tips for men dating in their 40s.

5 Things to Do When Your Dating in Your 40s as a Man

Put yourself out there

When you were younger, it might have been considered cool to seem uninterested or to play games with your crushes, but when you’re dating in your 40s, things are pretty different.  

Toying with your crush’s feelings isn’t a good game plan. It risks them leaving before you have a shot at something special and it may hurt their feelings too. So, don’t be afraid to get vulnerable! Sure, doing so early on may feel daunting but it’s key to laying down the foundation for a healthy relationship. 

Whether you’re asking someone out over text or you’re wondering how to make your first move, putting yourself out there is worth it. Why not write a lengthier message to someone you’re interested in or spend time thinking of interesting questions to ask them? Small efforts like this will show them you’re serious.

Chances are your crush is just as nervous as you are. If anything, they’ll find your nerves charming because it’ll show you care.

Be direct with what you want

When you’re dating in your 40s as a man, it’s best to be open about your expectations. So maybe take some time to think about what it is that you’re looking for before you begin your dating journey. 

Are you looking for something long-term? How do you plan on balancing work with dating? How do you feel about kids?

If you’re not ready to settle, don’t tell someone it’s a possibility. Leading someone on whose hopes don’t align with yours is never a good idea. 

Likewise, if you want kids or hope to get married someday, feel free to say it to a suitor early on. 

If you’re worried that opening up about your expectations will show all your cards too early, don’t. Having healthy expectations is vital to a successful relationship. Revealing yours will make you seem confident, not weak.

Being upfront about what you’re looking for may feel awkward, but it’ll help you find someone who’s on the same page as you, and that’s what dating is all about.

Be kind to people

Kindness is one of the most sought after traits in a partner. Making an effort to be kind to all your suitors is worth it, even if your connections don’t go anywhere.

Pay attention to their body language, be attentive, and ask them questions. These small efforts will lead to plenty of genuine conversations.

And if somewhere down the line you’ve decided that you’re no longer interested in someone, message them and explain that. Ghosting people is often seen as immature, especially when you’re dating in your 40s as a man. It can lead to hurt feelings and it may even tarnish your reputation. 

Unless it was a situation where you both acknowledged the date was bad, avoid suddenly cutting off communication.  Instead, send them a quick message saying that you’re not interested. It doesn’t have to be long or detailed, keeping it brief is perfectly acceptable. 

Simply tell them that you enjoyed their company but don’t feel enough of a spark to continue your connection any further. Then, thank them for their time. It should only take a few minutes and they’ll appreciate you taking the time to let them know.

Don’t settle

Continuing or starting a relationship with someone because you’re afraid you won’t find someone better is never a good idea. It may have been a reasonable thought decades ago when marriage was the be-all and end-all, but things are different now.

These days, it’s acceptable to date at any age. There’s no deadline when it comes to finding love or getting married. So don’t rush into something you don’t feel comfortable with. Entering into a partnership because you’re panicking rarely brings you happiness.

You risk hurting someone’s feelings and resenting your future partner down the line. Everyone has a compatible match out there, you just need to find yours. You have plenty of time to settle down and taking the time to find the right person to do it with is seriously worth it. 

Ask friends if they know anyone 

While online dating is effective, it’s not the only way to find love. Don’t be afraid to put yourself out there in real life too. 

Tell trusted friends that you’re on the market and ask them if they know any potential matches. True friends would never set you up with someone they didn’t think you’d like. Meeting people in this way may feel old fashioned, but it works!

Do you have male friends who’ve experienced searching for “the one” in their forties? If so, why not ask them about it? Opening up to them about your struggles may relieve you of some stress. Who knows, maybe they have some tips or stories to share with you that might help!

There are many advantages to dating in your 40s as a man. Our advice? Take advantage of this decade and devote time to finding someone special.

Who knows, maybe this new chapter will be your most rewarding one yet. 

About the author: Karen Belz

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