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For many couples, moving in together is a key step in their relationship.
After all, living together means no more schlepping your things between one another’s places.
It also means you get to spend more quality time with your partner.
Moving in together with your partner is the big litmus test when it comes to taking that other important relationship stage, marriage.
As much as moving in together is exciting, and it is, there are some things to consider before you sign the lease.
Here are some things to keep in mind.
Moving in Together 101
Why are you moving in together?
The reason behind your decision to live together is crucial.
It should be a mutual decision that’s deliberate and heart-filled rather than a rushed decision that’s based on fear and lack.
For instance, many couples move in together early on to save on rent only to discover that was a misstep in their relationship.
Others do so because they feel like they “should” after dating for a certain length of time.
However, nothing should feel forced about deciding to live together.
It’s a crucial moment in your relationship’s trajectory, so make sure you’re doing it for all the right reasons.
How will you divide your finances?
Moving in together means not only the joining of your closet space but the joining of some, if not a lot of, your finances.
In addition to paying rent or a mortgage, there are likely other expenses, such as cable and electricity bills, and groceries, that you will need to divide between you and your partner.
A conversation surrounding finances, including whether or not you will have a joint checking or savings account, is crucial before you take the cohabitation plunge.
Everyone has a different relationship and attitude towards money and it’s important to find out what will work for the both of you.
Agree on a location that works for both of you
For many couples, deciding on their home’s location can feel stressful and tense.
Maybe one of you wants to live in the city and the other one prefers the country, whatever your preferences, it’s important that you two hear each other out and decide on a place that works for both of you.
Moving in together means bringing together both of your lives, which includes a compromise on proximity to work and family and friends.
The location of your new abode should also be within a price range and area that you’re both comfortable with, and, above all else, feel like home.
Decide on household chores
Scrubbing toilets and mowing the lawn aren’t exactly sexy activities, but they’re necessary.
Household chores need to get done and devising a system for how that’s going to happen is key to moving in together smoothly.
Living together means getting to know the nitty-gritty of your partner in a whole new way, including how they keep their household intact.
You might already know by now who prefers cleaning over cooking and vice versa, but regardless, discussing household chores in terms of who prefers to do what and when is a conversation worth having.
Some couples might even want to draw up a household chore agreement. That way, if someone slips on their end it’s not up to the other partner to overcompensate.
This will save you tons of silly arguments, and maybe even resentment, down the line.
Be realistic
Moving in together is a huge step for any relationship and while it’s exciting, it’ll also serve as a reminder that your partner isn’t perfect.
They might be messier than you’d like. They will inevitably annoy you with their tics and habits. There might even be times in which you wish you had your own space again.
This is completely normal. Having small disagreements isn’t a sign of a bad relationship, so don’t let it get you down. Instead, communicate with each other honestly and regularly about this transition.
Learn to embrace the ebbs and flows of your relationship and view this new milestone as an opportunity to build more intimacy with your partner on a deeper, more human level.
By keeping the above concerns in mind when moving in together, you’ll be better equipped to take this big step.
So take time to understand and acknowledge the motivations behind shacking up with your partner and prepare you for the potential pitfalls.
If you do, you two should be fully prepped to kick off a lasting future in your new home.
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About the author: Brianne Hogan
Brianne is a Canadian freelance writer who's been writing about dating and relationships longer than any of her relationships. She applies a "do what I say, not do what I do" approach to her articles, and believes you can find Your Person mostly when you aren't looking. So enjoy your life, and eat lots of cheese (at least that's her motto). Her byline's been featured on Thrillist, The Huffington Post, HelloGiggles, Elle Canada, Flare, Awesomeness TV, among others.