Composing the perfect text message can be tricky, so we've taken care of it for you. Discover how to ask someone out over text like a natural with our practical…
Do you cringe at the thought of a first date conversation? Or feel stressed thinking of the perfect questions to get to know someone? Well we’d like to flip the script and encourage you to feel excited instead. Why? Because getting to know someone is exciting. And it can be stress-free too, if you know what to ask.
It’s no secret that questions keep a conversation running smoothly. But deciding what to ask your crush can be tricky. Generally speaking, we advise your questions be simple, open-ended, and flow with the conversation. Would you like to know more? Take a look below to get familiar with our go-to questions to get to know someone…
9 Questions to Get to Know Someone Better
Would you rather…?
Sure it might sound juvenile, but this fun ice breaker can really get the conversation going. It can help you get to know someone on every level and can touch on a wide range of topics. So read the room and tailor it however you deem best!
Maybe start off with something lighthearted and silly such as “Would you rather ears for hands or hands for ears?”. Then if everything is going smoothly and you feel like diving a bit deeper, ask a more serious question like “Would you rather die young and rich or old and happy?”.
Communication is key in a relationship, but it doesn’t always have to be heavy! So have fun with it and switch from meaningful to lighthearted or vise versa.
Which achievement are you most proud of?
A question like this not only provides you with insight on what this person has achieved, but also provides you a glimpse into what they value. Are they most proud of getting a raise or helping to build a house for charity? Whatever they answer should reveal a lot.
Understanding what someone finds important is key to unlocking what makes them tick. Probing this question in such an easy-going way will seamlessly carry your date into meaningful conversation and test your compatibility.
Where do you see yourself in five years?
If you’re looking for more questions to see how compatible you are with someone, this is the ideal example of a question to get to know someone. This classic gives you an idea of their vision. Do their goals align with yours? Or do you have polar opposite dreams for the future?
What makes you laugh?
Do you always find yourself falling for the class clown? Well you’re not alone. Studies show that funny individuals are more attractive. So if you have a date coming up, it could be a good idea to brush up on your comedic skills!
Bonding over a sense of humour is huge when it comes to connecting, especially with a new love interest. Asking this question will probably lead into the two of you trying to make eachother laugh. Letting loose like this will quickly give you a glimpse into what tickles their funny bone. And if you find you’re laughing along with them? Even better.
What are you most excited about in your life right now?
This question helps you to get to know someone in terms of both their value system and what really brings them joy. It will help you see whether or not your ideals clash. Maybe this question will uncover a shared love for music or passion for politics? Or perhaps it will reveal a shared travel destination?
It’s always a good sign of compatibility if you and your crush can get excited about the same thing. It’s also a very good transition question, that usually introduces a new conversation topic.
Which TV or movie character do you identify with and why?
This question is another fun ice breaker. From this question you’ll be able to tell how someone views themselves without getting into a serious, heavy conversation.
It’ll give you a quick glimpse into who they like and who also might want to be, which will give you insight into who they are. It’s also a good way to tell if you two have the same taste in TV or movies.
What’s your biggest pet peeve?
Everyone has a pet peeve or two. This is a great question to help you get an idea on what gets on someone’s nerves. Maybe you’ll discover that they’re totally laid-back. Or else you’ll realise that they’re a bit of a control freak!
Finding out what bugs someone else is a great way to know how someone ticks, and allows you to be open and honest with each other from the get-go.
Who are the most special people in your life?
Evaluate your date’s character by asking who is in their support network in a casual way. Do they lean on their parents, siblings, and/or best friends? Do they have an inner circle? Or maybe you discover that they’re a single parent?
You can tell a lot about someone from who they hang out with and by the way they speak about their loved ones. After all, the phrase, “You are who you surround yourself with” is timeless for a reason.
What is your biggest fear?
This question unveils someone’s vulnerability pretty quickly. Emotional intimacy is important in a relationship, but some people find it an uncomfortable topic. If your date answers “spiders” or “heights” then maybe that means they don’t like getting too deep too quickly.
But if you’re looking to skip over the superficial chatter and dive into the heart of a person’s truth, then this is the one to do it. If answered truthfully, this question speaks volumes about this person’s story so pay attention.
Asking the right questions can be tricky, especially when you’re first getting to know someone. But by asking the questions above, you’re sure to connect more authentically for the get-go. So take note of these next time you’re chatting to your crush, and deepen your bond without breaking a sweat.
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About the author: Brianne Hogan
Brianne is a Canadian freelance writer who's been writing about dating and relationships longer than any of her relationships. She applies a "do what I say, not do what I do" approach to her articles, and believes you can find Your Person mostly when you aren't looking. So enjoy your life, and eat lots of cheese (at least that's her motto). Her byline's been featured on Thrillist, The Huffington Post, HelloGiggles, Elle Canada, Flare, Awesomeness TV, among others.